Ye Olde Polish Commonwealth Fare
Gentles and Worthies All,
Right glad shall we be to wine ye and dine ye in the rooms of our Restaurant, serving ye with all manner of the most excellent fare. Ye can try our knuckle of pork with the most delicious crackling; duck with wild cherries; young fowl done in honey and garlic; steak tartare; Pituch, that is fermented żur soup served with egg, sausage, ham, and bread; or retainer’s potato with all manner of goodness … and all these delicacies will taste best if washed down with half a pint of Miodula, the finest mead blended with vodka exclusively for us. Ye shall find four rooms big enough to feast 170 honourable guests, while the merry fire in the fireplace and the auncient melodies of Old Polish, Lithuanian, and Ukrainian music will carry you back to bygone times.
Many of the most renowned guests have sojourned here. We have entertained the entertainers Roman Polański and Adrien Brody, Jon Voight, Jerzy Hoffman, Ewa Wi¶niewska, Michał Żebrowski, and Jerzy Trela; gourmet chefs Robert Makłowicz, Piotr Bikont and Ewa Wachowicz; Maryla Rodowicz and Edyta Górniak, divas of the Polish music world; famous sportsmen Jerzy Dudek and Leszek Kuzaj; and many, many more; and we are looking forward to hosting ye just as sumptuously, so that ye can taste of all our specialities and spread abroad the message that there be no finer fare, no liquors more delectable to be had in all Cracow, nay, in all Poland, than in this our Ogniem i Mieczem Restaurant.
Our servaunts open the doors when the clock striketh twelve, and close at midnight.
..