Wander around Krakow's Rynek on a Friday afternoon at 6pm and pick any front-row seat you like - there's not too much competition these days to soak up the horse urine fumes and the cacophony emanating from the latest hastily-assembled stage. 'Strange - I thought all the piss and noise was being removed to Plac Szczepanski?' do I hear you ask. Incorrect! That was just a cover story to ensure the closing down of the car park to further restrict vehicular access to Krakow city centre. 'I sold my VW Golf within 3 days of buying it,' admits Slawomir Kojak, a Krakow resident. 'Even if I've made a capital loss, it's nothing compared to the money I would lose with these spiralling fuel costs and the time it would take me to find somewhere to park and walk in to the centre.'

 

'Strange,' I hear you ask again, 'but I thought they were only closing down the Karmelicka car park to prevent me from parking in the centre?' Incorrect! That car park is being closed down so they can build a Hilton Hotel there for all the tourists who aren't coming to Krakow anymore. OK, that may be an exaggeration - Krakow is expecting a huge wave of tourists for most of the 3 weeks between June 9th and July 1st 2012 - but who is to say the hotel will be completed by then? A source (who did not want to be named) close to the development commented: 'November and December last year were busy months - 3 trees were cut down.' This year, unfortunately, has not been so productive - a team of large moles who created several large piles of dirt on the multi-million dollar site have since been offered higher salaries and benefits at a more rewarding 24 hectare site in Podgorze and so the Hilton developer is presumably left with the nigh impossible task of finding a general contractor to continue the work.

 

It seems it is only general contractors who can afford to bribe their way onto the Rynek these days in any case. Roy Meeup, a spokesperson for a Belgian general contractor operating in Malopolska, told us that it usually costs around 100 PLN (approx 100 EUR by the time you read this) and a box of what he referred to as 'Belgian Black' to enjoy an evening drink on Rynek. 'That covers car parking in Galeria, ear-defender rent, anti-horse air-freshener purchase, 15 PLN for a beer, and the Belgian Black to keep away those funny-looking people with the accordions,' he explained.

 

It seems then that locally-made decisions are equally as much to blame for the reduction in activity on Rynek as the state of the world economy. Wawrzyniec Nierobisz, a spokesman for Krakow Town Hall failed to reply to our email on the subject. Maybe he has left as well?

 

Then again - we ARE in the sleepy month of August so maybe there's no cause for panic just yet...?

 

Teraz Polska!

 

Juan King